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Self-guided support and resources

Whether you’re looking for information, reassurance, or guidance – here are a few ideas and tools you can explore whenever you want, at your own pace, and in a safe space.

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Coping methods

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Whether you’re looking for information, reassurance, or guidance

here are a few ideas and tools you can explore whenever you want, at your own pace, and in a safe space.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique:

Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.


The category technique:

Very similar to the exercise above, this one involves choosing a category and taking a minute or two to mentally list as many items as you can within that category. Here are a few ideas to get you started: pets, flowers, sports, ice cream flavours.

Common responses

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There are many ways to respond to sexual harm and all of them are valid even if they feel scary or irrational.

This section explores some of the most common emotional, mental, and physical reactions – so you can better understand what you’re feeling. Whether you don’t recognise yourself, don’t understand your emotions, or feel lost, you’re not alone. We’re here for you. No matter the circumstances, it was not your fault, and you deserve support.

The following thoughts are common when experiencing emotional reactions:

“I’m angry”, “I’m scared”, “I’m confused”, “I’m overwhelmed”, “I’m anxious”, “I’m depressed.”

Telling loved ones

Deciding to tell a loved one can be incredibly hard – whether it’s a friend, whānau member, or partner.

Here is some guidance on how to prepare, examples of how you could start the conversation, and how to manage different reactions.

First, remember that you don’t have to tell anyone about your experience if you’re not ready. If and when that time comes, you can prepare what you want to share with your loved ones – whether it’s writing everything down – or just a few key thoughts. This can also help you prepare for possible questions, so you’re not caught off guard. And it’s always okay to let them know if you’re not ready to share anymore information.

When you’re ready to have this conversation, try to find a quiet time and place where you feel the safe and unlikely to be interrupted. Reading what you’ve written to them or keeping your notes with you can provide you some support and comfort.